Ravings of a Textual Deviant

A recipe for shawarma, given to me by one is a prince among men, if not the SCA. Our gaming group devoured most of a batch last night (we had to save room for cake).

This recipe is scaled for a total of  5 lbs ground meat.

3 parts ground beef

2 parts ground lamb

1/2 large onion

most of a bunch of parsley

most of a bunch of cilantro

most of a bunch of green onions

2-4 T Penzey’s Turkish seasoning

1-2 t Aleppo pepper

1-2 T salt

1 C dry couscous

4 eggs

1-2 t ground pepper

Combine all of the above, form into oval patties that will fit into half of a round of pita bread, and fry in olive oil. Serve with pita bread and yogurt sauce (below).

More yogurt than you think you need

To taste, add salt, minced cucumber, minced onion, pepper, and garlic

I’m not good at keeping the refrigerator clean or well organized. But every now and again, Spouse asks me to do something about it. The thing is, we have different definitions of what it means to clean out the fridge.

Spouse’s definition is to throw out the expired stuff.

When I clean out the fridge, I take everything out, clean the inside, clean the shelves, and get rid of everything that is expired, unrecognizable, or developed its own civilization. The fact that we did not discover this difference until we had been married for over three years should be an indicator of how often I do my version of cleaning out the fridge.

So by some miracle, we recently had a day with no time-dependent plans, no headaches, and a reasonable amount of energy. And we cleaned out the fridge (my definition) together. Et voila!

My fridge, only better

I was so proud of myself I sent the picture to a friend who is also a frequent visitor and has had to contend with my fridge on more than one occasion.

Me: You would never guess this was my fridge.

A: Anything is possible with Photoshop.

A person cannot live on juice and protein powder alone. That’s the only explanation I have for the recipe I came up with for tonight’s supper, ham and cheese pot pie—high fat, high sodium, and highly delicious.

But first, a little exposition. Cheese sauce is my nemesis. This has always frustrated me, because I do love a good homemade macaroni and cheese, and I have never been able to pull one off.  So I was absolutely thrilled when I accidentally discovered that you can stir shredded cheddar cheese into jarred alfredo sauce and come up with a perfectly lovely cheese sauce.

Anyway, it was already after 8:00 PM by the time I started cooking, and because I forgot that Spouse had for lunch the leftovers I was planning to make for dinner, I was at a loss for planning. I defrosted a premade pie crust in the microwave, opened up a bag of mixed vegetables in butter and herb sauce, and warmed them in the microwave. While that was going on, I cubed some leftover ham. I stirred the ham and a tablespoon or so of parsley into the vegetables, added about a cup of alfredo sauce and  a cup of cheddar cheese shreds, topped it off with pie crust, and baked for about 20 minutes at 450 degrees. Spouse commented that a) it as more like something he would make (meaning a Southern-style casserole), and b) the downwind neighbors were probably wondering why their cholesterol was shooting up.

Smoothies
apricot-pineapple-mixed berry
pineapple-banana-berry
banana-raspberry
watermelon-blueberry-strawberry

Juices
1 beet/1 lime/3 tomatoes/3 carrots/3 stalks celery/1 cucumber
3 tomatoes/2 apples/1 beet/3 carrots/3 stalks celery
6 apricots/2 tomatoes/1 grapefruit/3 minneolas/12 large strawberries
lots of kale/one-quarter head of red cabbage/ 3 tomatoes/3 carrots/4 stalks celery/1 parsnip/1 lime/1″ piece of ginger/1 cucumber/1 yellow bell pepper
–this one tasted fine, but the pigments in the red cabbage oxidized almost instantly resulting a muddy-brown, swamp-juice color.
8 oz watermelon/6 oz blueberries/12 oz blackberries/3 apples/3 minneolas/1 grapefruit

Today’s Juice:

1 lime
2 minneolas
3 tomatoes
16 oz pineapple spears
4 carrots
1 parsnip (yes, you can get juice from a parsnip)

Yesterday’s Juice:

1 beet plus greens from 3 beets
3 carrots
3 stalks celery
1/2 bulb fennel
1 apple
1 lime
1 yellow bell pepper
1 cucumber