Ravings of a Textual Deviant

Alisa, Jennifer, and I recently observed that all the males in our respective households seem to have a chronic tendency to leave dirty laundry on the floor next to the laundry hamper, as opposed to putting it in the laundry hamper. I asked my friend, Sean, if he did that as well, and if so, why? His answers were “yes” and “I don’t know.”

I started wondering if this was one of those hunter/gatherer things Ed occasionally comes up with. Obviously, it wasn’t intended to demonstrate hunting skill, because how is a guy who can’t hit a stationary laundry hamper with a pair of undies from six inches away going to be able to hit a charging mammoth with…well, anything, at any distance? As it turns out, it has very little to do with hunting per se. The explanation is a two-parter.

Part one: it’s a dominance/territory-marking action. Any other males who might find their way into the bedroom will immediately become aware of the presence of another, established male, because of the socks and underwear scattered about. The intruding male then (theoretically) accedes to the dominance of the established male and leaves. Any females entering the bedroom also become aware of the presence of an established male, and occasionally express sympathy for the established female (who has marked her territory neatly with over-the-door shoe holders).

Part two: Once the clothing has been removed, it is no longer moving. Therefore, it is obviously neither food nor dangerous, and so the hunter no longer sees it. If he can’t see it, then he won’t pick it up. The gatherer, closely attuned to her environment, becomes acutely aware of the dirty clothing lying on the floor. This can create tension between the hunter and the gatherer, and at our house, occasionally results in an underwear crisis, as the gatherer is right sick and tired of picking up after the hunter.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 23rd, 2003 at 3:59 pm and is filed under Hunters and Gatherers, The Ed Files. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.