Ravings of a Textual Deviant

So, here I am at this year’s WorldCon in Toronto. First, I have to say that Toronto is a wonderful place to be, whether or not there’s a convention.

Which is a Good Thing.

For reasons which have yet to become clear to me, TorCon III is not quite up to what I am used to from a WorldCon. There are a lot of things missing, which seems to be precisely the problem.

The dealer’s room is miniscule. It’s about 20% of the size I’m used to seeing at a WorldCon. There’s also a noticeable lack of variety–normally, I would say the more books, the better. However, it’s about 75% booksellers, with similar stock, and 90% of which I could easily order online for less money and no currency conversion hassles, GST, or PST. There are only two costume sellers–one with no more than a dozen items, none of which are impressive; the other only impressive in comparison. There is only one DVD/video table, and I’m not impressed with the selection. There’s one anime table. There’s one table for bumper stickers and message buttons–normally, they are legion. There are no games dealers at all; just one spinner rack of 3rd Edition D & D books at a bookseller.

Likewise, the art show has a lot of holes. I would expect that on the first day of the convention, especially in the morning, but about 1/3 of the panels are empty. I’m also sorry to say that there’s less high-quality work as well, which is the real disappointment. There’s a decent amount of good work, but not nearly so much great work as I’d hoped. And, I am sad to say, there’s more bad work–if you’re going to enter your kids’ pencil sketches, at least press out the creases! There’s also a preponderance of drawings and paintings–not very much 3-D work at all, which is something I like. There is a healthy amount of stained glass, but there’s very little sculpture, mixed-media, soft-sculpture, etc. One thing that I did enjoy considerably were a series of parking stickers done on cling-film, so that you could actually stick them in your car. There were six different options: Wolfram and Hart, Miskatonic University, Unseen University, Muppet Labs, Lex Luthor’s company (whose name escapes me), and one other one which escapes me entirely. The print shop was doing good business, and I did pick up a lovely Celtic knotwork/tree picture by Svetlana Chmakova.

Also missing, or possibly misplaced, were some of the participants on the panel discussions. There has been at least one major problem affecting the scheduling, by which I mean panels are not always where or when they are listed in either the program book, the quick-reference guide, or the allegedly-corrected daily schedule. Panel participants who do manage to show up in the right place at the right time are often lacking information, such as who the moderator is, a description of the topic, and the length of time they’re scheduled. This disappoints me more than anything else, as the programming is always a big feature of any convention for me. Moreover, it bodes ill for events like the Hugo Awards and the Masquerade, which are complex enough when everything’s going smoothly.

Most of all, there seems to be a shortage of attendees. The last attendance figure I saw was approaching 3700, and I’ve been to larger regional conventions.

If I had to take a guess, I would start off by saying that Toronto has had a rough time of it the past several months–SARS, mad cow, the blackout, and so on. I’m sure this has put a serious dent in attendance–dealers and artists as well as your basic model of fan. However, I suspect that the crucial problem is that convention ops is understaffed in a variety of areas, which would explain a lot of the behind-the-scenes problems whose effects I’m seeing. Nothing seems to be running smoothly; there’s a feeling that things are barely under control and that only through great effort. I am certain that the convention committee and crew are doing their best–probably with a shortage of volunteers along with everything else–but it’s just not quite coming together, sort of like jam or Jell-O that’s too liquid to eat, but too gelled pour. I sincerely hope that it’ll set overnight.

I must say that I am amazed at the sheer number and variety of museums and tourist attractions along the 401 between Windsor and Toronto. Leaving out the porn and gambling in Windsor itself, I remember seeing, in no particular order, signs for tropical gardens, golf courses, Ontario’s largest indoor amusement park, a winery, a butterfly conservancy, The Canadian Medical Hall of Fame, The Windsor Wood Carving Museum, and (I swear I’m not making this up) Wally World. It’s southern Ontario’s tourism corridor, I tell you. And I’m quite grateful for the occasional sign, because the rest of the 401 is a lot of well-fertilized fields.

Toronto, on the other hand, is quite the Major Metropolitan Area. It springs out of nowhere; one minute, the 401 is a four-lane road through farmland; the next thing you know, there are ten lanes on the 401 proper, and three additional lanes in each direction of connectors. Everyone on the road knew exactly where they were going, while simultaneously trying to read the mapquest directions, spot the exit, and figure out how far 6 kilometers is in miles. Still, we made it in approximately the same amount of time estimated by mapquest (despite traffic in Detroit and Windsor and a couple of minor navigational mishaps–not my fault).

I have four cousins heading off for their freshman years of college. I’m sure that they’ve all been bombarded with all kinds of advice, most of which they won’t remember. I have only one small but important bit of wisdom to impart. So, Daniel, Ilana, Jon, Thea, and any other incoming freshman, heed my warning:

Do not, under any circumstances, eat dorm cafeteria jambalaya. Seriously. It’s salmonella with okra. I found out the hard way so you don’t have to.

From Morning Bakes, by Linda Collister. The book alleges that these are quick and easy recipes that can be made in the morning, but I wouldn’t recommend trying it before your first cup of morning caffeine.

1/3 C whole blanched almonds
1 3/4 C all purpose flour
1 T baking powder
1/3 C sugar
Grated rind of 1 lemon
1 large egg
1 1/4 C milk
2 t lemon juice, preferable freshly squeezed
1/4 vegetable oil
1 cup fresh blueberries (rinsed and drained well) or frozen blueberries (do not thaw)

Heat the pven to 400 degrees F. Grate the almonds to a coarse meal in the blender or food processor. Sift flour and baking powder. Add almonds, sugar, and grated lemon rind.

Lightly beat the egg with the milk and vegetable oil. Add to dry ingredients and mix just enough to combine. Lumpy batter makes good muffins, so do not try to make it smooth. Add the blueberries and mix with as few strokes as possible.

Spoon batter into a muffin tin. I like to use paper liners, but it’s optional. bake about 20-25 minutes. Test with a toothpick, as the blueberries will make the muffins feel squishy even when they’re done. Let the muffins cool in the pan briefly (about 1 minute) and then turn them out onto a cooling rack.

2 9″ pie crusts (top & bottom); make your own or buy frozen. When I’m in a hurry and/or lazy, I use the Pillsbury ones in the red box that you thaw and unfold.
4 cups blueberries
1/4 cup instant tapioca
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon cinnamon, or more to taste

Combine everything except the pie crust and let stand for 15 minutes. Put the bottom pie crust into a 9″ pie pan. Fill the pie, dot with butter. Cover with top crust. Cut vents in the top crust if you are not making a lattice design. Bake at 400 degrees Fahrenheit for 15-20 minutes. Cover the edges of the pie with foil to prevent burning, and bake another 30 minutes. Let the pie cool completely before slicing so that the filling sets up.

Alternate pie fillings are as follows:

Apple: 6 C sliced apples (Granny Smiths are good) + 2 T tapioca + 3/4 C sugar + 1/2 t cinnamon and 1/4 t nutmeg
Cherry: 4 C cherries + 3 T tapioca + 1 1/2 C sugar + 1/4 t almond extract
Peach: 4 C sliced peaches + 1/4 C tapioca + 3/4 C sugar + 1 T lemon juice
Strawberry-Rhubarb: 2 C sliced strawberries + 2 C sliced rhubarb + 1/4 C tapioca + 1 1/4 C sugar + 1 t grated orange peel

Ginger and Dorothea ask

Come up with a character concept for one to three other gamers you know. System, genre, stats (if you even bother with stats) up to you. How did the gamer(s) influence the concept(s) you came up with? Would you play the character(s) you came up with yourself?

Well, if Dorothea wants me to play it straight, then I’m going to have to ask her to play it crooked. I’d love to see her play a con artist of some kind, and despite the protests I can already hear coming in from her direction, I think she’d do a good job. If I couldn’t convince her to take that character, she’d have to be either a bard or a power-behind-the-throne type. Nobody should be surprised to know that I’d play any or all of those characters at the drop of a hat.

As for Alisa, I’d love to make her the skeptic and straight man (as it were) in a black ops type game…not because I think she couldn’t or wouldn’t do it, but because it would be fun to watch. This is not an easy role to play, but it can be a lot of fun and I’d certainly give it a try.

I stepped into the garage earlier this afternoon to find that my water heater was leaking. Shortly thereafter, I discovered that the hot-water shutoff valve was stuck. Fortunately, my third discovery was a can of WD-40, which solved the second problem in fairly short order.

My fourth discovery was that I am now sufficiently de-stressed to deal with the sudden and untimely demise of a major appliance…which is comforting to know, even if I had to find out the hard way.

4 cups blueberries
4 cups sugar
1 teaspoon grated lemon rind
1 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)
1 tablespoon lemon juice
3 ounces (one foil packet or half a bottle) liquid pectin

Mash the blueberries. I used a potato masher with good results, but you could probably also give them a quick go ’round in the blender or food processor. Don’t blitz them to liquid though, because jam ought to have some fruit chunks in it.

Add the sugar, cinnamon, and the grated lemon rind, and mix well. Let this mixture stand for ten minutes. In another bowl, combine the lemon juice and pectin. DO NOT forget the lemon juice; blueberries are a bit alkaline, and you need the acid for the jam to set. Stir the pectin into the mashed berries and mix well. Pour into clean jars or freezer containers. Let the jam sit for a couple of hours at room temperature. Store it in the fridge for up to three months or the freezer for one year.

This one’s easy…

1 package Jiffy cornmeal muffin mix
1/3 cup milk
1 egg
1 tablespoon sugar
1 cup (picked over, washed, and drained well) blueberries

Beat milk & egg together. Add muffin mix and sugar. Let stand about five minutes. Fold in blueberries. Bake according to package instructions.

There’s no such thing as an innocuous question from my dad.

This afternoon, he called me and asked if I’d like some blueberries. One of the guys at the lab passed a farmer’s market on his way into town, and apparently “went a little overboard.” Sure, I said, innocently enough.

When I got to the lab, the reception area was doing an excellent imitation of a produce stand. There were a dozen ears of corn, a cantaloupe the size of a basketball, an enormous tomato, a bag of okra and an entire peck of blueberries. If you’ve never seen an entire peck of anything before, trust me, it’s impressive. I’ve got CD storage boxes that are smaller.

I ended up with most of the blueberries–along with about half of the corn, some beets and cucumbers from my dad’s garden, and some large and luscious tomatoes from Cathy’s garden. But mostly, I ended up with a lot of blueberries.

So far, I have produced blueberry pie (4 cups of blueberries), blueberry jam (4 cups of blueberries), blueberry cornmeal muffins (1 cup of blueberries), and blueberry sauce (1 3/4 cups of blueberries), and blueberry finger stains (unknown quantity). Lemon-almond-blueberry muffins are imminent, I think. I have six cups of blueberries in my deep freeze, and another four cups of fresh ones in the fridge.

Show me your blueberry recipes and I’ll show you mine…