Ravings of a Textual Deviant

Quote from Doug’s game last night:

“I need to roll a 17 on a d6 to make it.”

Congratulations to my cousin Mari, who has just given birth to twins Hunter Dean and Kira Eileen! New cousins, woo-hoo! More great-grandchildren for our grandmother, woo-hoo!! Not my kids, WOO-HOOO!!!!

I’ve never particularly cared for my name (Liorah Ilene), hence my use of initials for many, many years. Now I know why. Thanks, Karen.

Literal meaning
“One who knows a man who could make a handle for that.”

History
Killing eighteen and withering all crops for a mile when first read out from a newly discovered sliver of parchment in 1976 AD, or possibly BC, the name Liorah was originally used chiefly to refer to a breed of goose, before seeking its fortune on the sea.

Famous Liorahs
1. “Terrible” Liorah Sprokes, PhD (”The Suspicious”), of the generation which fondly remembers the legendary Source of the Thames; last holder of the office of Her Majesty’s Punchbag;
2. Liorah Marl, champion of the right to use some thing or other; ghost-writer of Hugh Scully’s compelling autobiography, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM, HAVE YOU?;
3. Liorah de la Millington, BA, MSc, co-writer of INDIANA JONES AND THE FIRST ON THE RIGHT; last holder of the highly regarded office of Royal Plumber’s Mate;
4. Lady The Miss Liorah Frewsy, channeller under supernatural influences of unspeakable guilt; first holder of the office of Hot Diggity;
5. Liorah Orbiting, opponent of the entertainment industry blacklist; ghost-writer of Jimmy Clitheroe’s excessively sophisticated autobiography, READ MY STORY IN THIS BOOK; first holder of the office of King’s Bath Taster;
6. Liorah D Nootlooter, who’s never forgotten the monkey cartilage gear system;
7. Chief Scientist Liorah Nivea, who discovered more types of bacterial infection than any fifty-two people can name; ghost-writer of Anne Boleyn’s generally tolerated autobiography, IS THAT ME? NO, THIS IS ME;
8. Judge Liorah Nightdodge (”The Mighty”), reputedly trapped for sixteen days under a fallen monument to demanding money with menaces;
9. Liorah S Frote, named in court as holding compromising material concerning the paper aeroplane;
10. Brigadier-General Liorah Toot, early user of the world’s sturdiest box.

Typical Liorah motto
“Don’t touch that.”

Literal meaning
“Destined-for-Retail.”

History
Spelled out by the movement of snakes across desert sands around 11am, the name Ilene was originally used imprecisely to refer to the Disney corporation, its subsidiaries and partners, before interbreeding with the natives took place.

Famous Ilenes
1. Ilene Tidecatcher, channeller under supernatural influences of the early career of Roy Clarke;
2. Ilene Sponetote, populariser of various messiahs later purchased by major world religions; first holder of the office of Chancellor of the Eggs Checker;
3. Chief Scientist Ilene Oily (”The Nervous”), disgusted by the deckchair-cum-hat;
4. Ilene Cangoose, early user of paroxysms of fright;
5. Ilene Toot, named in court as holding compromising material concerning static electricity; ghost-writer of Clive Dunn’s offensively illustrated autobiography, SEE YOU IN HELL;
6. Ilene ap Nootlooter-Trabmaw, once saved by several of the more violent gypsy curses;
7. Ilene U Nightdodge, director of the new Bond movie, EXMOUTH BURNS;
8. Ilene O’Sprokes (”The Uncanny”), belittler of the constellation of Pleiades;
9. Ilene Quoits-Ach, reputedly trapped for fifteen days under a fallen monument to a nice cup of tea;
10. Ilene Lilly Li, who owes everything to the world’s most popular cosh; ghost-writer of Alastair Sim’s bestselling autobiography, E-MAIL ME FOR THE SECRET OF MY MILLIONAIRE’S SUCCESS; first holder of the office of King High Wizard Of Ipswich.

Typical Ilene motto
“Let us emulate the wily Prussian.”

I may have lost out in the name game, but my soul is worth ?10362, which, coicidentally, is probably the total of my student loans.

I almost locked my keys in the car today. By “almost,” I mean that if I hadn’t forgotten to lock one of the back doors a couple of days ago, I’d still be standing in the parking lot, cursing my multisyptom-cold-medicine-induced stupidity and distraction. As it was, I had cancelled my lunch appointment with Alisa, and was on the cell phone trying to convince Ed to drive all the way across town to rescue me with the spare car key. As I circled the car, trying the doors, I got lucky, and even managed to make it to lunch. Much better than the last time I locked my keys in the car–I actually managed to do it twice in one day. Fortunately, after the first incident, I went straight to the nearest hardware store and got a copy of the key. Then, I took the key directly to Cayte, my long-suffering roommate. I’m sure you can imagine how thoroughly amused she was when I needed it a few hours later.

My current job is actually someone else’s job. I’m just filling in while she’s out having and recovering from surgery. Today, I got good news and bad news, and both can be either, if that makes sense. The first piece of news is that the person I’m substituting for is probably going to be back this time next week, which is good because she’s feeling better, and bad because I still need work. The second piece of news is that during the surgery, the doctors found something that’s going to require another surgery, probably in a few weeks. This is bad, because this poor woman is going to require another surgery, and good, because I’m very likely to either be kept on or brought back after a brief interval, and as I said, I need the work. The really interesting twist in this situation is that the department is actually down one full time technical writer anyway, and if they can get their budget and paperwork straightened out quickly, they might just decide to keep me. This is good, because (all together now) I need the work, it’s a good group to work with, and I wouldn’t have feel guilty about coveting this unfortunate (and very nice) other woman’s job. There is no bad there, as far as I can tell, which is definitely good. But in the short term, it’s all very uncertain, which isn’t great, but I’ll live with it.

I’m a bit behind on Role Calls, so here’s my catch-up…

#28: What’s the most unusual setting in which your game has been set, and what makes it so unusual?
Well, Doug did send us to hell once. Not that hell is all that exotic, I suppose, but Doug’s particular version of it was detailed, graphic, profoundly mythological, bloody devious, and so unmistakably the way hell would be if Doug was in charge that I am profoundly glad he’s not. At least, as far as I know. Rob had a pretty cool post-Apocalyptic coastal California, but coastal California is so weird in real life that I’m not sure it qualifies…

#29: Would you object to playing a markedly weaker character than that for which the game system/campaign generally allows?
If there was a really good reason, sure. Sometimes, I have a character who simply cries out to be played, and damn the game mechanics. Besides, in the course of playing the character, you’d have the opportunity to develop and build him/her up anyway. I’m a confessed plot junkie, and if a weakness makes a character interesting, I’ll go for it. (Currently, I have one character (Annika) who’s socially inept and another (Bronwyn) who’s just plain nuts. Both are fun to play, so what the heck.)

#30: Would you game with someone you didn’t like personally? Why or why not?
I would do it, but I’d prefer not to on a regular basis. In a one-shot situation, I’m more open to it. However, gaming is a very social activity for me, and I prefer to interact with people I like. Skating the edge of a jerk-induced nervous breakdown taught me that life is too short to spend your time with mean people. (Mind you, I also think that life is too short to wear uncomfortable shoes or give up chocolate.) That said, it would depend on why I didn’t like the person. Being of an occasionally cranky nature myself, I’m inclined to give second chances. However, if I didn’t like someone that I knew well, I probably wouldn’t game with him/her. There a a handful of people with whom I simply refuse to associate for any reason, and they’re the ones I’m thinking of in this case.

This week, we discuss that Olde Tyme Religion.

Name three gods or religions that have appeared in games you?ve played in. Were they good, bad, or indifferent? What made them so?

#1 goes back to Ye Olden Days, when Dorothea and I were mere lasses. In our regular D & D game–AKA Munchkinfest 91 (92? Help me out, D.)–one of the gods became enamoured with Dorothea’s character. She got some pretty good writing out of it, and rather a lot of plot, but in the end, I think it wrecked what little was left of the game balance. If memory serves, the DM took great delight in meddling with our characters in various ways. It felt like he was trying to run us through a preset script, rather than letting the game develop, and he made great use of divine intervention to wrench things into his preferred direction.

#2 is the complete opposite–in Doug’s invented world, the one with Null–you can see the effects of the gods’ actions, but unless you’re an extremely high-powered clerical type, you never see the gods themselves. This, I think, is how it ought to be. In Null, like in the Old Testament, having a god’s personal attention can cause a heck of a lot of disruption in your life.

#3 also goes to Doug. Without going into screens and screens of detail, in a recent game, he put his own delicious spin on the Judeo-Christian creation myth with a twist of reincarnation. (Major credit goes to Dave F. for his perfomance in the unexpected starring role in the ending chapter of that one.) This one has to win Best Ever GM Use of Religion in Roleplaying, at least in my experience.

Having talked about others’ use of religion in roleplaying, I’ll just hijack the question briefly and talk about my own methods. Unless I am running a game that’s deliberately myth-heavy (such as the upcoming Fimbulwinter) I tend to follow Doug’s example in #2 above. Even in Fimbulwinter, I don’t know yet how much the players will actually see of any of the gods. I tend to avoid divine intervention/deus ex machina as in #1 above, probably because of that very experience. In the unlikely event that I ever come up with an idea as good as #3, I will probably expire from the sheer delight of it, and no one will ever know. (See below.)

Murphy’s Law, that is. And the law won. In fact, not only did the law win, it beat me up and took my lunch money. Nothing irreparable–at least not yet, and as I’m at home for the evening, that limits the disaster options–but a big pile of aggravation I didn’t need. Tomorrow, it’ll be a good scene from a sitcom…but tonight, it’s a good reason to blow off anything important and have a margarita.

Via Wraith, which Greek God am I?

Morpheus

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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Huh. Who’d've thought?

Indiana’s Governor, Frank O’Bannon, died this morning after suffering a massive stroke earlier this week. One of the laws he enacted during his term states that if a person chooses to be an organ and tissue donor, that choice cannot be overruled by the family. According to one of our local news stations, the Governor’s corneas and other useable tissues either already have been or will be sent on to an organ and tissue bank. Under most circumstances, I am hard pressed to say anything nice about any politician. In this case, though, it’s good to see that he walked the talk, and I hope he inspires others–not just in Indiana–to be equally generous.