Ravings of a Textual Deviant

“Solve the problem yourself or accept a fate you may not like…from this perspective, the ethic of personal responsibility gains appeal.” —Noel M. Tichy

The most recent IRE reminds us that the last cheap real estate in New York is long gone.

TodayJune 12th of this year marks the 340th anniversary of the reincorporation of New Amsterdam by the English into the colony of New York. Its an important and momentous occasion, a turning point not only in the development of New York, but America in general. ((L.E. Modesitt Jr. Ghost books, as a divergence, have a Dutch-dominated New York and New England surviving British attempts at incorporation).

So, the handover of a valuable colony or country between rivals…and the people in the colony caught in the crossfire…

The setting is Hong Kong; the date is June 1st, 1997. The People’s Republic of China is set to assume control of the island in thirty days. The players are members of an organized-crime syndicate who have to realign their business contacts and processes in order to prosper under the new regime. Unfortunately, their boss has just gotten killed, so they also have to track down the perp, avenge the murder, escape not one, but two justice systems, and keep business running as usual. The name of the game is “Hong Kong Phooey.”

The most-recent-less-one IRE gives us E3, the Electronics Exposition, to work with.

Given that I tend not to run high-tech games, I’m going to start my players off at a State Fair or County Fair, circa 1910. Eventually, they’re sure to wander into the sideshows and carnival games. And what better way than to transition them almost unnoticeably, into Murphy’s World. Not only do the players have to figure out how to get their characters back to their home dimension, they have to figure out whether or not they’ve actually managed to do so successfully…given that they’d end up back at the midway where they started. Or would they?

How do you know when it’s a slow day at work?

B: The Squirrel Mafia must have had a hit… there’s a dead bird in the pool by the cafe with what appears to be its head cut off…
Me: yikes! hide your acorns
B: I wonder what the bird did to deserve that… show disrespect for Don Squirrel? Late on his loansharking payment?
Me: I heard it was an interspecies romance thing—trés Romeo and Juliet. The bird was dating Don Squirrel’s youngest daughter. He was going to fly her to Vegas this weekend to get married at the 24-hour chapel of Elvis…isn’t love grand?
B: Makes one do strange things
Me: That much is indisputable

How do you know when it’s a really slow day at work?

Me: I just Googled “squirrel mafia”
B: and…
Me: there are a lot of hits
B: no pun intended
Me: sorry about that
B: that’s funny… and weird at the same time because there must actually be a squirrel mafia
Me: I’ve known that since graduate school. I told you about the squirrel mugging the chipmunk, right?
B: yes you did… it has me thinking that I should watch my back when I take the squirrel pix…maybe they really don’t like that
Me: so long as they’re not actually committing felonies while you’re taking the picture, you’re probably safe
B: I wonder if the lazy squirrel in the tree is a ‘made’ squirrel… did he take an oath of allegiance, tossing a little piece of burning paper in his little paws?
Me: I hope they haven’t figured out how to use fire
B: Or did the other squirrels get to pummel him mercilessly for a few minutes?
Me: isn’t that more of a gang initiation? maybe he had to kill a ranked mafia squirrel?
B: yes, but isn’t the mafia a gang?
Me: not so much a street gang as an organized-crime syndicate
B: true… a smart gang if you will
Me: business-oriented
B: yep
Me: check this out

How do you know when it’s so slow that time is practically moving backwards?

We now have an alternate theory, which is that the bird’s head is waiting to be found in a nest or a pile of acorns somewhere.

That is, the Indianapolis metro area is the 10th most unhealthy city in the United States, according to MSN.

The Indianapolis metro area scored slightly above the average in lifestyle pursuits and physical activity, but low in the areas of mental wellness, health status and diet. Residents reported low levels of exercise and poor scores for BMI [Body Mass Index], smoking and consumption of fruits and vegetables. On a positive note, Indianapolis did record better-than-average scores for diabetes, arthritis and asthma.

Mind you, this is no surprise to me, and apparently we’re better off than Las Vegas, New York, Detroit, Orlando, San Antonio, and bottom-of-the-barrel New Orleans. San Jose, California, (very close to my former home of Cupertino) came in as the healthiest city in the U. S., followed by most of the rest of California, and oddly enough, Washington DC.

Despite the “slightly above average” rating for physical activity, I would not be surprised if part of our negative rating for exercise has to do with the fact that Indy is about as bicycle-and-pedestrian unfriendly as it gets, with the rule-proving exception of the Monon Trail. Combine that with our lack of decent public transit, and you’re stuck driving everywhere that’s further than your mailbox.

This week’s Lunchtime Poll is ridiculously easy.

What’s the last board, card, or roleplaying game you bought, and what do you think of it?

The last game I bought was the Buffy the Vampire Slayer RPG, but as I haven’t had a chance to play it yet, I don’t have much of an opinion. Ed brought home a wildly politically incorrect, anime-satire card game, SPANC, which we also haven’t had a chance to try yet, but will later this week (I hope!) The last game I bought that I’ve actually have played was Ninja Burger, and I liked it so much that I bought the t-shirt. It’s very much in line with my “if it’s weird, sick, or twisted, I’m there” gaming preferences.

One of the nice things about the location of my desk is that there’s a large courtyard right outside the building, beautifully landscaped, surrounding a several-hundred-square-foot water feature. Weather permitting, I like to take the outdoor shortcut whenever I have to go between buildings, which is fairly often. This morning, I noticed a distinct, and strangely familiar, aroma. I was crossing the stepping stones (which are larger than a twin bed) and the wind shifted. Suddenly, I was reminded of Venice. Specifically, I was reminded of the evening that my brother and I were sitting on the back deck of a vaporetto, watching the sun set as we moved down the Grand Canal. He sighed, leaned over, and said “This is really beautiful, but I can’t wait to get home and smell Portland.”

Apparently, someone has figured out how to make wool less wool-like by “bio-polishing” the fibers. Wool has never been my favorite fabric, precisely because of the itching and shrinking. The bio-polishing process apparently solves those problems and produces a shinier fiber in the bargain. I certainly would like to get my hands on a sample or two, and see if the process does anything to alleviate wool allergies.

An open letter to the fashion industry from someone who writes like I wish I could.

A couple of weeks ago, Ed and I acquired three virtual children. We’re finally getting around to naming them. He and I are going to name two, and we’ve decided to let the Reading Public name the third one. (If it matters, all the virtual kids have Ed’s last name, McDonough.) Please post suggestions in the comments, and have fun!