Ravings of a Textual Deviant

Scene 1 

The ducal messenger for whom we have taken on a bit of work has just caught up with us and delivered her message. We noticed that she had some nice, new bits of gear, and surmised that she’d gotten a nice bonus for recruiting us.

Anja the Fighter: There’s a dwarven armorsmith headed for [large, defensible town with a modern banking system] who’s got some really nice things.

Ducal Messenger: I rode past him on my way here. I’m planning to stop and see him when he gets to town.

Anja the Fighter: When you see him, give him my love.

Ducal Messenger: Um, I don’t do dwarves.

Constance the Half-Orc Monk: Size queen.

Scene II

Darya Quicksliver, “security testing specialist,” surveys the carnage at the roadblock the group has just destroyed. A huge wooden palisade burns in the background; dead ogres and hobgoblins are scattered in the foreground.

Darya: I’m going to put a coup de grace on everything that isn’t us. And go through their pockets.

Last night, I found myself in a mood for chocolate mousse. Housemate and I headed into the kitchen and about ten minutes later, had produced this—

1 recipe chocolate ganache, made with half-and-half instead of heavy cream; you’ll want this to be a bit thinner than the cake-frosting version. Use the best, darkest chocolate you can find. (I used the entire three-pack of Trader Joe’s dark chocolate bars; the ones that come in a lavendar wrapper).

1 small carton heavy cream

1/2 tsp. vanilla powder or 1 tsp vanilla extract

About 1/2 C. powdered sugar

Whip the cream with the powdered sugar and vanilla powder, just to the soft peak stage. Drizzle ganache into whipped cream, continuing to whisk (or using a mixer). When cream and ganache are thoroughly mixed and firm, spoon into small dishes and chill for about 15 minutes, if you can wait that long. (I couldn’t)

The controversy was over. The curriculum had been agreed upon. Parental consent was obtained for nearly every sophomore at West Central High School. The rest were in the library, allegedly studying; probably making out in the stacks. The students were in their seats, looking at their feet, or whispering nervously to each other.

The wrestling coach-cum-health teacher walked into the auditorium and drew a slow, deep breath. Nobody had consulted him in all the uproar. He was definitely not happy with the results.

“Today we start our unit on sex education. Is there anyone who doesn’t know? Good! Dental hygiene…”

Perhaps a first in the history of gaming—last night, Darya looked at the dragon head on a modified chimera (white dragon head instead of the standard D & D model) that was about to land and wreak havoc amongst the horses and cried out, in a breathless and excited voice, ”Shoes!”

To which one of the (male) players replied “Isn’t it after Labor Day?”

Sweetie darling, a cute pair of strappy sandals never go out of style.

M: Can I borrow the keys to the library?

Me: Yes, but make sure that you fill the library up with gas and have it back by 10:00.

J: We have to wait until the delegation meeting to find out…if he’s there.

Me: Can you send a proxy to a delegation meeting?