I See Dead Things
One of my coworkers livened up an afternoon of proofreading with this story…
My house is 125 years old and didn’t have an original basement. The basement was dug as an afterthought some time in the 1930s so a furnace could be installed in the house. The basement perimeter is about 3 feet inside the original foundation. And, since the kitchen is an add on from the 1950’s, there is a rather large crawlspace accesible from the basement. The floors are not insulated from the basement so in the winter, my house gets quite cold.
Last night my boyfriend came over to help me put some insulation under the floors. We decided to start with the crawlspace, and as he was propping a ladder against the wall in preparation to access the crawlspace, I jokingly told him to be careful. When he asked why, I replied “Because that’s where I bury my dead things.”
He knew I was joking so he smiled and going along with it asked “Dead things?…like what?”
“Oh, just things like old cats, stray dogs, and my ex-husband.” I said.
“Your ex-husband, you say? Well if he taps me on the shoulder, I’ll put him to work.” he replied.
He [the boyfriend, presumably, not the ex-husband] positions the work lamp and jumps on the ladder to access the crawl space. After he wiggles his way on to the ledge, he gets suddenly quiet. After a moment or two, he swallows hard with an uneasy manner.
“You WERE just joking …. uh, right?”
“Maybe…” I replied, “Why do you ask?”
” ‘Cause, honey… there’s something dead up here.” Then with all the courage he could muster, he proceded to reach out and hook something on the end of his screwdriver. Rotating around to pass it down to me he asked… “What was this?”
It was the skull of a dead cat. I told him it was a cat skull. He looked at me kind of weird and asked again, “You were just JOKING… right?” I laughed and said of course I was joking.
This morning, we are up and moving into the kitchen to get breakfast and there, in the middle of the floor, is a mouse that expired during the night. Immediately I exclaimed “Oh look! Another little body for the basement.” He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and asked one more time…”You were just joking… RIGHT?”
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