Ravings of a Textual Deviant

Ella watched, fascinated, as the pumpkin and mice turned into a carriage and horses.

“Could you teach me that,” she asked her fairy godmother. Mirelle was taken aback, but agreed that it was possible.

Ella was a quick study, and mastered the spells in just a few weeks. She gathered her paltry remaining possessions, a few squashes from the cellar, and an empty birdcage, and left her stepmother’s house forever.

Before long, she owned one of the most prosperous—and economical—livery stables in the kingdom. And on the side, she grew prize-winning pumpkins and bred the loveliest fancy mice.

Use the best, darkest chocolate you can find—I used the entire three-pack of Trader Joe’s dark chocolate bars; the ones that come in a lavendar wrapper. I also bought the chai powder at TJs.

1 small carton heavy cream
5.25 oz. (150g) chocolate
1/2 tsp. vanilla powder or 1 tsp vanilla extract
Unsweetened chai powder to taste (I used about 1 1/2 T)

Whip the cream with the vanilla powder, just barely to the soft peak stage. Melt chocolate over very low heat. Add chai powder and stir well. Drizzle chocolate into whipped cream, continuing to whisk (or using a mixer). When cream and chocolate are thoroughly mixed and firm, chill for about 15 minutes, if you can wait that long.

Serves 4 if you’re generous, or 6 if you’re not.

Mom: Here is my list of what I am bringing so far [for seder]. Please let me know what I am forgetting: [List]

Me: Cranberry sauce. Oh, wait, I’m the one who forgets the cranberry sauce.

Mom: We all forget the cranberry sauce. Did you want me to make a regular potato kugel or are you planning a menu without one?

Me: We DO, repeat DO need a potato kugel. Fruit or crumb? Oh, wait…that’s cranberry sauce.

Anja: I’m NOT going down the oubliette.

Medrin: Why not?

Darya: Because it’s full of eeeeeuuuuuuw.