Ravings of a Textual Deviant

This morning, I was on the edge of an anxiety attack, as a result of a meeting I thoroughly dreading. In fact, I was trying to convince myself that it wouldn’t kill me, and not having as much success as I’d’ve liked. (Did I mention that I really didn’t want to go to the meeting?)

Yoga breathing exercises helped, but not enough. At least I was open to the possibility that the meeting wouldn’t kill me.

Before I could put the brakes on, my brain went from Nietzsche, to yoga, and back again, spitting out “That which doesn’t kill me makes me more at one with the universe.”

It didn’t, unfortunately, but it didn’t kill me either, so I’m willing to call it even.

I only overheard the Amdinistrative Assistant’s half of this conversation, and my imagination is working overtime…

“Hello…
Down to your office? Sure, why?…
I don’t think I can help you…
I’ve never done any such thing in my life…
I have no idea how to do that…
Goodbye.”

As T. used to say, when you’re eavesdropping, you don’t get to ask questions.

I’ve been engaged for two weeks now, and I have come to the conclusion that the first thing any couple should do is not look for rings, ceremony sites, wedding consultants, or any of the other things every bridal book, website, or TV show tells you to do.

The first thing to do is join a gym together (if you haven’t already)…and start going to the gym together a couple of times a week. Why? The usual reasons all apply, of course, but there are some additional ones I can think of that are specific to this situation.

As my psychiatrist friend has oh-so-wisely said on more than one occasion, even good change is stressful. And believe me, the stress can hit hard and fast. Exercise is one of the best ways I can think of to deal with stress, whether it’s yoga to help you calm down, or cardio kickboxing for catharsis. Endorphins are free, legal, and you can make them yourself.

It gives you something to do together that has nothing to do with the wedding; planning can take over your life, if you let it.

It will also be something that you can continue to do together after the wedding. I don’t know how many studies I’ve seen that indicate people are more likely to exercise if they have a workout buddy. This is the kind of real-life commitment that comes along with a long-term relationship. There’s so much hype, fuss, and adreneline around the wedding planning details that it’s easy to lose focus on the original reason for the wedding in the first place.

There’s going to be a whole lot of eating going on in the run-up to the wedding; parties, showers, lunches, the rehearsal dinner, and the reception itself.

For me, the fact that in the not-too-distant future, someone is going be taking pictures of me in a strapless dress is a big motivator for doing upper-body resistance work. (Not that I suffer from vanity, mind you. No, I enjoy every minute of it!) In adddition to wanting to look good, I am anticipating a long day with a lot of standing up, walking around, etc. I want to be in good enough condition at the end of the day to enjoy the evening, if you get my meaning.

Fiancé did not get his first choice job, although he was asked to apply again next time they’re hiring. However, he’s found a very good volunteer opportunity, and managed to be the right person in the right place at the right time to help them out of a pinch. That seems to be going well, and it certainly is good experience. He’s signed up with Local University career services, has another application out for public sector work, and is by no means out of other options. He’s also just about to wrap up his first private case.

Magnus was sitting, staring off into space. (I’d say “minding his own business,” but that would imply that he had some.) Minx walked up to him and started licking Magnus’s face. This is not unusual; Minx grooms Magnus at least a couple of times a day. Before I could open my mouth to say “oh, how cute,” Minx reached out, quick as…well, a cat….and bit Magnus’s ear. Before Magnus had finished his yowl of protest, Minx was back to grooming him as though nothing had happened.

Now I know how my mom always knew what I was up to.

I’m never going shopping for anything important without Kevona again. Ever.

Last time I needed a wedding dress, it took me three months just to find something I was willing to wear. It didn’t help that in general, I am outrageously fussy about my everyday clothes, let alone something for a special occasion. One of the reasons that I learned to sew was that I got tired of saying things like “if only I could take the skirt from that, the sleeves from the other, and the bodice of the one over there…” Add to the mix that my mom and I have very different taste, and I hadn’t been clothes-shopping with her for ten years, and you start to get the picture.

I was dreading this shopping expedition. If anything, I’ve gotten fussier over the years. I looked at pictures online, and sure enough, wanted that hemline, and the other bit of embroidery, and that color…etc., etc. I figured I had better start shopping right effing now, and would probably end up asking Mom to sew something for me (which she readily agreed to do if needed; thanks Mom!).

In my desperation, I called up Kevona, who’d gotten married two weeks ago (looking absolutely smashing, if I may say so). She met us at the store where she’d found her dress. K. had my camera and her finely honed psychiatric skills at the ready.

Fortunately, she only needed to use the camera.

I was ready for an ordeal, followed by disappointment. Instead, I found three dresses to try on right away, all by the same manufacturer. All of them looked good, and (gasp!) one of them had all the design elements I was looking for. I tried all three, and was assured that they were all available in the color of my choice (light silver). All of the sample dresses even fit well enough for me to get them zipped all the way up (no mean feat, with my wide shoulders) and move around. All of them looked good, and just for the sake of being thorough, I tried on a few others. However, my mind was pretty well made up as soon as I had First Choice Dress mostly on in the fitting room. The service rep didn’t just show me the fabric swatches; she gave me samples. The dress is well within my budget. My mother and I both like it. The whole thing took less than 90 minutes. No trauma, no drama.

Unbelievable.

Here are pics from the manufacturer’s website.

So, we’ve gotten a lot of questions about the wedding already, and the answers, in no particular order, are:

Early June next year;

We don’t know, other than “somewhere in Indianapolis”;

Preferably a Sunday afternoon;

Semi-formal;

We’re trying to keep it small-ish, or at least medium;

Not yet;

Nowhere;

and

Alisa volunteered, and we’d be fools to turn her down.

Also, we’d like to take the opportunity to say thanks very much to everyone who’s sent their regards; it means the world to us!

Me: Anything new and exciting going on with you?

Mom & Dad: Not really.

Me: Want something?

Mom: What have you got?

Me: Michael asked me to marry him.

Fiancé Formerly Known as Housemate: And she said yes…which is good, ’cause I could just see her saying “That’s so cute.”

If I haven’t told you this in person already, it’s because I can’t remember who I’ve already told. It’s been that kind of a week.

Told you what, you ask?

Housemate asked me to marry him, and I said yes. Actually, I said yes several times, and bounced up and down a lot.

Stay tuned for details as they break. Film at 11:00.

Once upon a midday dreary, while I pondered weak and weary
Over many a quaint and curious document of validation lore…
Quoth the helpdesk, nevermore