Ravings of a Textual Deviant

Fiancé and I have started a new game, run by a longtime pal and GM, in which all the players are in a Hercules-and-Xena type universe, although it’s being run as D&D 3.5. All of us, for one reason or another, have been kicked out of our home planes and can’t go back. Our cast of characters includes Deception; a dragonkin dwarven smith, Demetrios, who’s the demigod of organized labor; Alcion, the Dark and Eldritch Redistributor of Wealth; Kerberos’s little brother, who only has two heads, but drools fire; a naïve nymph; and my character, Delta, who is the Fates’ younger half-sister, a bard/sorceress and the semi-goddess of anachronism. (“Anyone can be a demigoddess, sweetie, but who wants to be just another roadside shrine on the road to Delphi? A semi-goddess is new; it’s different; it’s a marketing strategy!”) Delta has an ergonomically-correct lime-green hiking backpack that occasionally produces things like velociraptor claws, or a sheet of Hello Kitty temporary tattoos.

So far, we’ve gotten everyone introduced to each other, and I have had great fun confusing everyone. The group’s general intent is to become heroes and, more importantly, do enough good deeds to be able to get back home. So far, Demetrios has healed an orphan and gotten him an apprenticeship at the local forge, and Kerberos’s little brother is currently depleting the local wildlife. Delta’s goal is a little different; she wants to travel, become a performance artist, and find herself. Her main accomplishment so far is confusing everyone, and she really misses margarita night with Kassandra, as they understand each others’ problems very well indeed.

Oh, and we killed a 12-headed pyrohydra. It was pretty nifty, actually, and Delta wrote bad haiku about it.

Hammer from the sky
A taste of winter’s fury
Hydra is no more

[Translation: Demetrios pummelled the stuffing out of it and Alcion finished it off with an ice-storm spell, while all Delta managed to do was break a nail]