Ravings of a Textual Deviant

Squid Caesar

Rinse and dry romaine lettuce, then tear into smaller pieces. Add garlicky croutons, and shaved paremesan cheese. Top with fried calamari rings, and toss with Caesar dressing (I buy it bottled because Spouse has a Thing about eating raw eggs).

All ingredients can be handily purchased from Trader Joe’s, in mere minutes if you’re willing to use your elbows on fellow patrons. I like to mist the squid lightly with olive oil before it goes in the oven.

This week’s CSA basket had a good-sized portion of green beans. I’m not terribly fond of green beans, but I knew that a few days in the fridge would not improve them. It’s possible that the reason I don’t like green beans all that much is that most of my experience is with the frozen kind at home, and cafeteria-style green beans with almonds elsewhere.

This recipe, like so many others, started with sauteeing some diced onions. I used half a good-sized red onion (you could probably use a couple of shallots instead, if you have them on hand), and a half-and-half mix of butter and olive oil. I recommend medium low heat, as you’ll next add a turnip or two, cut into approximately 2″ chunks. The turnip will take a while to cook and caramelize, but be patient; it is worth the wait. More caramelization is better, in my opinion.

Top, tail, and string your beans (if using fresh) or not (if using frozen). I like to cut the beans into bite-sized pieces so that they cook faster, but suit yourself. Steam the beans just enough to cook them through, leaving them slightly crisp. They should be an amazingly beautiful bright green color. When the turnips are nearly done, add the drained beans into your turnips and onions. Add in some parsley and ground black pepper, and stir the lot for another few minutes. You’ll want to add some salt at the table, particularly if you have used fresh beans, but I prefer to leave that up to the individual diner.

I ate two servings of it, and not just because I really like turnips.

We had this as a side dish with corn on the cob and lightly-breaded baked cod. I steamed the beans over the same pot of water that had the corn boiling in it, to save getting another pot dirty, which worked out quite well.

Last night, I taught yoga at 5:15, then went on to rehearsal for From Dark Pages, so I needed something that could be ready when I got home.

I started some jasmine rice, which is my favorite kind, on the stove. I spent the next twenty minutes rounding up vegetables—fuschia eggplant and mushrooms from the CSA box; green garbanzos from the freezer; cauliflower and shredded carrots from the vegetable bin. In a rare moment of forethought, also had a boneless, skinless chicken breast that I’d gotten out to thaw earlier in the day. That got cubed in short order, along with the eggplant. The whole lot of it went into the crock-pot, with a jar of Korma sauce from Trader Joe’s. I turned off the heat under the rice, turned the crock on, and came home to a complete meal.

And I have enough left over for lunch.

This is not the Top Secret Family Cabbage Recipe that I acquired from my ex-coworker, but it does feature a similarly heavy dose of starch, and is likewise really not kosher or vegetarian.

The base of this dish is mashed potatoes. I prefer to make mashed potatoes by boiling cubed red potatoes in salted water until they’re soft, then adding in butter and either milk or fat-free Greek yogurt as part of the actual mashing process. If you’re feeling ambitious, you could also add in chives, or tarragon, or whatever herbs you prefer. Bear in mind that the potatoes are the base, however, not the main attraction.

Next, I diced an onion and sliced up the cabbage (I had one small head each of purple and green cabbage, which was a very nice touch, I thought.) If I’d had a leek to hand, it would’ve gone in as well. Over medium heat, I sauteed the onion in olive oil until it was just starting to brown, and then added in the shredded cabbage. Don’t worry if you think you’ve got way too much cabbage when start; it cooks down a lot. I kept the additional flavorings pretty light, only adding black pepper and caraway, and deglazing the pan with water when the fond started to develop.

To finish it off, I put some sliced Canadian bacon on top of the cabbage, and let it warm up. Had I been paying more attention, I would have cut it up a bit more and started it with the onions…but I was distracted, and I’m please to have remembered it at all. You could probably easily substitute ham, or sausage, or any other pork or faux-pork product you prefer (turkey-based, tofu based, etc.) here as well, so long as it is fully cooked by the time you’re done.

To serve, first put down a layer of mashed potatoes. Add the cabbage and Canadian bacon right on top of the potatoes. Sprinkle some shredded cheddar cheese over the top, stir the lot of it together, and devour.

Over the weekend, I was simultaneously making tomato sauce from scratch and getting the yellow beans ready to blanch and freeze. I had chopped onions and tomatoes everywhere, when I realized that I didn’t have any containers to put the beans in to freeze them.

Fortunately, I did need to bring a side dish to a gathering that evening.

I cut the yellow beans into bite-sized pieces, and boiled them just enough to get rid of that fuzzy/sticky, spilled-beer-on-industrial-carpet feel that they have when raw. I sauteed up some of my onion and garlic in a generous amount of olive oil, and added in the cooked beans. Next into the pan were chopped tomates, followed up by some oregano. Not only did they make a very good side dish, the leftovers were the next day’s main dush, reheated with cooked chicken and corkscrew pasta stirred in.

As for homemade tomato sauce, there are millions of ways to go about it, but they all start with a couple of pounds of chopped tomatoes slowly simmered until they start to fall apart. I usually scoop most of the tomato base into a blender and puree it, then return it to the pot; I like my sauce a little bit chunky. Sauteed onion and garlic went into the pot, along with some red wine vinegar and red wine. After the alcohol cooked out, I reduced the heat to a low simmer and stirred in oregano, basil, parsley, thyme, rosemary, black pepper, salt, and anchovy paste. 20 minutes later, I stirred in a small can of tomato paste and some truffle oil. After that, another 10-15 minutes over medium-low heat, to let the flavors come together. I was feeling lazy, so I skipped the eggplant and squash, but when I ladled the sauce over the pasta, I didn’t find myself missing anything.

1. Went to Ari & Kim’s brit ahuvim in Portland. Didn’t have nearly enough time to spend either with family or in Portland itself. Lovely people, lovely ceremony, lovely guest house, lovely city, lovely restaurants (Typhoon!, Pix, Common Grounds, and Kappaya all highly recommended for dining; the Blue Bird Guesthouse is a great place to stay.) Even the flights weren’t too bad; we sat next to the World’s Quietest Baby on one leg of the trip. (I had no idea that such a thing as a Quiet Baby existed!) I love walking around Portland, and not just because it’s actually POSSIBLE. The guest house was very convenient to Portland’s awesome public transit system. We went to the Japanese garden (Lost track of all the lovely water features, viewing areas, etc. Was also very entertained by watching parents try to keep their spawn out of the koi ponds.) and the Rose Test Garden (wish I could bottle that smell), as well as the obligatory pilgrimage to Powell’s Books. Tried Thai iced tea for the first time—it was a lovely, orangey-saffron color and spicy; couldn’t resist.

Every time I visit Portland, it gets harder to come back to Indy. I’m torn; I feel an obligation to do my part to make Indy a little weirder, but I’m really swimming upstream here…even in the only blue square in the red state.

2. Trying to figure out what to do with all the produce from the CSA basket. All the various and assorted chilis have been chopped and dried for later use. I’ll be blanching and freezing the green and yellow beans as well, in order to give myself some more breathing room. And OMFG, the tomatoes!!! I am inundated with tomatoes; I’ve made homemade salsa and eaten enough caprese salad to feed at small village in Capri. I’ll be attempting from-scratch tomato sauce tomorrow, I think, which will provide me with an outlet for any lingering squashes and eggplants. Made a small but delicious batch of baba ganoush from the fuschia eggplants. Mushrooms have gone into everything from a mushroom-pancetta-surimi omelette and pizza to the five-spice duck and cabbage that I made to use up some of my generous cabbage allotment. A work buddy from a former job just sent me his Top Secret Family Scottish Cabbage recipe, which I will have to try out. I had to get special dispensation just to use Irish oatmeal. Using up the watermelon was a snap; I ended up trading half of it to my dad in return for a canteloupe the size of an f***ing basketball. There are still some peaches sitting about that’ll end up either in a dessert or a jam experiment, and we’ve got some fresh corn calling out to be grilled.

3. Work, work, and more work. I cancelled a status meeting last week because I knew everybody was too busy working to tell me about their status, so I asked for email reports instead, and offered extra points for creativity. 25% of my team responded with hand-drawn cartoons. My team rocks! Other than that; lots of process changes are starting to hit at the same time as three massive projects are peaking at one of my clients’ sites.

4. Picked up a Wednesday-night yoga class to teach downtown at a corporate fitness center (very nice facility; first class went seemed to go well). Might pick up a Tuesday night class after Labor Day back at Lawrence Township, which would be pretty awesome. I always like having a class that’s open to the public so that I can send people there when they ask where I teach. I have also got an irregularly-scheduled Monday night class with private clients in Boone County. Awesome group to teach, and again, a very nice location with lots of wall space.

5. Did a weekend yoga teacher training on Anatomy and Alignment the weekend after getting back from Portland. My main motivation was needing the continuing education units to maintain my certification, and I always forget how totally awesome the experience is in and of itself. I particularly liked the new way my school is teaching anatomy; they’ve gone from a yoga-slanted medical textbook to a combination of a great visual reference book and a yoga-centered anatomy manual.

6. Completely ignored GenCon, other than having some of Spouse’s friends staying with us for the weekend. Very nice people; we’ll have to spend some time when none of us is trying to do something else. Whenever that happens.

7. Trying to learn a thing or two whilst getting the household finances in order.

8. Putting off buying tickets and booking hotel for Chicago in October and Rochester in November. Won’t be able to go to cousin’s wedding in New York in October on account of it being the weekend before Brother-in-Law’s wedding in Chicago. There is only so much time and energy for travel this year, and mine is all allotted already.

9. Semi-successfully getting back to the gym semi-regularly. Have put on about 20 pounds more than I need in the last 18 months or so, and I want it gone. Should probably eat less chocolate. *Sigh* Having better luck with home yoga practice, but not as much as I would like. Never enough time when my stomach is empty. (Yoga on a full stomach is a Very Bad Idea. Nobody wants to end up in Downward-facing Bad Dog.)

10. Unearthed house from dirty laundry, dirty dishes, dust, lint, junk mail, cat hair, cat litter, and other random debris. More or less maintaining it most of the time.

11. Spouse and I are both appearing in this year’s From Dark Pages (scroll down to October) at Morris Butler House, $DEITY help us. They’re using the Faust scene that I wrote, which thrills me to the tips of my toes; I love that scene. I also wrote the Richard Burton scene, if strategic purloining of film dialogue and rearranging it to suit my specific, demented purpose counts as “writing”. I think I can safely saw that this is probably the first year that “stuffed squid” will appear on the prop list for this show. Anyway, I’m told that the tickets are going fast, so go get yours.

12. Saw The Dark Knight. Not all that time-consuming, really, but I wouldn’t want you to think I’m living under a rock or something.

13. Getting ready for my mother’s birthday tea. Mom plays Queen Victoria for Morris-Butler House’s Queen’s Birthday Tea event, and I thought it would be nice for her to have a birthday tea that was more to her own taste than Vickie’s. And it’s a darned good thing; I couldn’t find clotted cream, Devonshire cream, rose petal jam, or quince jam in this town to save my life. (I did find the quince paste that the Spanish restaurant serves on its manchego, though, so it wasn’t a total waste of effort.) Fortunately, Mom likes blueberry jam and creme fraiche just fine.

In case you ever have a burning desire to throw my mom a tea party, we had scones with butter and the aforementioned blueberry jam and creme fraiche; cucumber & chevre tea sandwiches; smoked salmon and chive cream cheese tea sandwiches; bleu cheese, walnut, and pear tea sandwiches; petit fours; yellow cake with chocolate frosting and edible flowers; and black tea. I take my afternoon tea seriously, I do.

13. And in the mean time, I’ve been trying to get in some down time; nap, yoga, read, cook/bake, catch up with friends, do a little gaming on the side. If it makes you feel better, O Reading Public, I haven’t been doing much writing off the blog either, so you’re not missing anything. My creativity has been on hold for a while now, and I’m finally starting to feel it come back. I spent a ridiculous amount of money on beads in Portland, and I still have no idea what I’m going to do with them. I do, however, have plans and materials for a couple of decorative, fabric, thangka-type wall hangings for the living room that need to be put together while I can still find my notes.

Stick with me. I’ll try to start writing again soon.