Spouse was organizing the garage over the weekend and came across a 21-quart container of dirt.
“Dirt? Why do I have dirt?” he asked himself. “I’m still eating garlic, so it can’t be that…”
*Spouse is playing Dracula in this year’s From Dark Pages.
Archive for September, 2008
Not Typecast*
Monday, September 29th, 2008Yard Time
Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008Minx spent some time as an indoor/outdoor cat, and has never really reconciled himself to being a wholly indoor cat. However, our neighborhood has enough traffic and bored middle-school-aged boys that neither Spouse nor I are entirely comfortable letting him roam on his own.
A while ago, I had suggested getting a collar and lead, so that we could at least take the cats out for some fresh air. (Besides, the idea of an animal that can’t go outside gives me cognitive dissonance.) Spouse told me that Minx would probably fight the collar, and had slipped out of them before, so I had given up on the idea.
Until yesterday.
It was so very nice out, and I had stopped for cat food anyway, so I picked up a couple of inexpensive belled collars and a four-foot lead. I got Magnus’s collar on without a fuss, although he was confused about where the bell noise was coming from. Minx fussed a bit, but let me put the collar on him. I immediately clipped the lead to it and we went out into the front yard.
He sniffed a full circle one direction, then the other. Then he took a couple of steps, and sniffed some more. He appeared to be in New Smell Heaven. We proceeded this way for about ten minutes, wandering perhaps a quarter of the way around the house. We were barked at by the next-door neighbor’s dog, and mocked by a squirrel. It was a Good Day.
Minx didn’t even protest when I decided it was time to go in.
Then it was Magnus’s turn. I took him outside and set him in the grass. He wailed piteously and made a mad dash back to the front door.
OK, then.
Later that evening, I took the collars off the cats, removed the bells (I remembered that the cats like to jump on the bed in the middle of the night—multiple times), and replaced the collars. No problem with either cat.
This morning, Magnus was collar-free. I found it, unbuckled, in the middle of the living-room floor. I have no idea how he managed it. Minx, interestingly enough, was still wearing his.
So, we shall see how it goes…but I think a bit of yard time for Minx on nice days will be a good thing for all of us.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!
Friday, September 19th, 2008In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, here’s the traditional re-post of lyrics to “The Last Sasketchewan Pirate,” by the Arrogant Worms.
Well, I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine
I had a little stretch of land along the C. P. line
But times got tough, and though I tried, the money wasn’t there
The bankers came and took my land and told me, “Fair is fair”
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
“Hire you now?” they’d always laugh, “We just let twenty go!” (Ha ha!)
The government, they promised me a measly little sum
But I’ve got too much pride to end up just another bumThen I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone
I’m gonna be a pirate on the river Saskatchewan! (Arr!){Refrain:}
And it’s a heave (ho!) hi (ho!), coming down the plains
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it’s a ho (hey!) hi (hey!), farmers bar yer doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shoresWell, you’d think the local farmers would know that I’m at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole the fertilizer
Bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear, their stomach’s are a-quiver
‘Cause they know that Captain Tractor’s hiding in the bay
I’ll jump the bridge, and knock ‘em cold, and sail off with their hay{Refrain}
Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He’d follow on the shoreline ’cause he didn’t own a boat
But the cutbacks were a-comin’ and the Mountie lost his job
So now he’s sailing with me and we call him Salty Bob
A swingin’ sword, a skull-and-bones, and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (Screw it!)
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me! (Arr!){Refrain}
Well, the pirate life’s appealing but you don’t just find it here
I hear in north Alberta there’s a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort MacKay
And you’re bound to lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way
Well, winter is a-comin’ and a chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
I’ll be back in springtime, but now I’ve got to go
I hear there’s lots of plunderin’ down in New Mexico{Refrain}
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores! (2x)
Finding Consensus
Thursday, September 18th, 2008“The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question, ‘How can we eat?’ The second by the question, ‘Why do we eat?’ And the third by the question, ‘Where shall we do lunch?’” —Douglas Adams
As always, there was much debate about where to go for our team lunch. We had seven restaurants suggested, and two vetoed, but only three places actually got votes, (or four, if we’re counting “wherever” as a place). As usual, it came down to simple economics.
Sort of.
A: The cheapest place since we have to pay for it, and I usually eat lean cuisine for $2.67 every day.
B: Well, the Wheeler Mission is pretty close to there; I hear the food is cheap.
A: I’m not allowed in there anymore.
Fashion Weak
Monday, September 15th, 2008The only thing that sets us apart from the animals is our ability to accessorize…a pink gorilla suit?
The Lesser of Two Evils
Monday, September 15th, 2008Really, I was only trying to help.
I felt sorry for them; unable to defend themselves against the beasts of the forest and ignorant of the transcendent delight of art and beauty. I was between assignments, so I took a little working vacation. Figured I’d help out the mortal realm by teaching them a bit about minerals…smithwork, pigments, that kind of thing.
The whole taking the daughters of men as wives thing was totally unplanned. After all, there were giants in the earth in those days, and nobody objected to them having a little fun.
So much for my good intentions.
“Hint, Hint,” Said the Universe
Wednesday, September 10th, 2008About three years ago, after much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, I declared that I wasn’t a yoga teacher. Yet.
It took almost exactly thirty days for that to change. Within a month, I was in my first teacher training. I finished up my certification as an RYT-200 in November of 2006.
The universe has now dropped another, similar, very large hint on me, and I like to think that I’m smart enough to take it before the universe decides that I am not paying enough attention, and draws back its boot.
I taught my first class of a new session last night, and in the class there was one student with fibromylagia, and one with CP. This morning, I got asked about yoga for rheumatoid arthritis…and then found out via email that a friend had just been told that she probably has fibromyalgia. No final diagnosis yet, but odds are good. I had been planning to do some research anyway, for my student, so…yeah, you know where that’s going.
It looks like I may well end up being a yoga therapist before the decade is out. I’m still looking into the certification process, and what schools are certified by Yoga Alliance (gotta get them Continuing Education Units). Conveniently enough, though, the school I’m already in is getting ready to roll out a couple of 4-day intensive yoga therapy trainings.
I believe those would also count towards the RYT-500, which is the next level up from the cert I already have.
I’m not ready for that yet. But I know better than to rule it out, either.
Back to School
Thursday, September 4th, 2008Looks like I will be teaching yoga to a class that’s open to the public, on Tuesday nights, through the local township school’s community education program.
Maybe I’ll see you there.
Thoughts on Sarah Pallin
Thursday, September 4th, 2008So, when I heard that Sarah Pallin was chosen as McCain’s running mate, I went out to Wikipedia and looked her up. I found the summary of her positions on various issues very helpful. I noticed that she is both pro-life and in favor of abstinence-only sex education in school. (Personally, I have always thought that this is a dangerous combination, for the obvious reason.)
Then I heard that her seventeen-year-old daughter was pregnant (see bad combination, above). And that her baby’s father had posted on his MySpace page that he wasn’t sure if he was ready to be a father.
I wonder if he’d bothered to read the Wikipedia article on his girlfriend’s mom?
***
I heard a clip from Ms. Pallin’s speech at the Republican convention in which she referred to herself as a hockey mom, and then joked that the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is…lipstick.
And I thought that putting clothes on dogs was a bad idea.
Collect the Whole Set
Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008Sir Benedek hurried toward the lair. The princess had only a few minutes before the dragon arrived.
Or so he thought. The dragon already clutched a limp Astrid. “Oh, a matched pair” it cooed, grasping him and squeezing until all went black.
When he awoke, Astrid lay next to him. She was unconscious, but breathing. They were on wooden surface, under a tapestry.
“Happy birthday, darling,” the dragon boomed, and the tapestry fell away. “Pets are a lot of responsibility, but I think you’re ready.”
Benedek fainted again. It was the last rest he got for a very long time.