Archive for April, 2009

The Three-Hole Punch and the Screwdriver

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

I work in software quality, and I’ve spent a lot of time with customers who insist that they need custom tools for their wildly esoteric and unique needs, needs that no other company in the history of commerce could ever imagine having.

Needs such as defect tracking and payroll.

In my experience, this leads to what I call the screwdriver/three-hole punch problem. Briefly, a customer has a burning need for a three-hole punch, and because they’re buying tools anyway, they also want a Phillips screwdriver. Somebody then comes up with the brilliant idea for a combination three-hole punch/screwdriver, and decides that this is the only possible solution to their problem.

When I’ve seen this happen, it tends to go one of two ways:

1. The customer calls up a big-name company that makes the best three-hole punch known to man, and asks if they can bolt on a screwdriver attachment. The customer waves a lot of money and after a lot of customization, you end up with a three-hole punch that works most of the time, and a Phillips attachment that tends to strip your screws.

2. The customer finds a tiny, boutique vendor that individually handcrafts a combination three-hole punch/screwdriver that looks really cool. The customer waves a lot of money and two guys in a garage try to build 25,000 identical combination three-hole punch/Phillips screwdrivers in three weeks. They deliver six months late, and the product turns out to be a two-hole punch with a Robertson screwdriver.

In both cases, it also usually turns out that the customer really needed was a good set of Allen wrenches and a red Swingline stapler.

My knee-jerk reaction to this is that it’s a requirements problem, but I keep wanting to think that there’s more to it than that.

Posted in What It's Like To Work in IT | No Comments »

Pseudo-Vietnamese Noodle Salad

Monday, April 27th, 2009

I can’t read a back-of-the-package recipe without wanting to tinker with it, which is how I came up with this. The original recipe was on the pack of the package of rice noodles, and I went fairly far afield this time. I guinea-pigged it on my husband and a guest (brave men they are, too) on Saturday night. The only change I’d make is maybe to add a little splash of lime juice. But it was, IMHO, awesomely good as written.

About 6 ounces cooked pad thai noodles
3/4 ounce pkg. fresh mint
3/4 ounce pkg. fresh basil
1/2 of a red bell pepper that was nearly as big as my head (or one whole, reasonably-sized red bell pepper)
3 baby cucumbers
3 green onions, both white and green parts
1 large handful of pea sprouts (about 2 ounces)
double handful of cashews, because I was out of peanuts
Trader Joe’s sweet chili sauce
Cooked shrimp (or chicken, or duck, or not, as it suits you); I used frozen shrimp

Wash, dry, and chop the herbs and vegetables into bite-sized bits. You can chop the noodles or not, depending on your level of motivation. Add the nuts.

Toss your protein in the sweet chili sauce to coat, and add to the salad. Alternately, if you aren’t adding protein, toss the sauce with the salad. Or both; just make a decision.

Posted in Tales from the Kitchen | 1 Comment »

Dryer Fluff, Rags, Old Nails, and Galls

Friday, April 17th, 2009

Morris-Butler House, in Indianapolis, is showing us that you can re-use just about anything. I got this email today:

If you are looking for new ways to reduce/reuse/recycle this year, look no further!  At Civil War History Campthis year, our campers will be making oak gall ink and signal flags, learning about Civil War medicine and making bandages. 

  • If you have wasps on your property, please save the galls that appear on your trees this season, be they attached to oak or some other variety of tree.  Not sure what a gall is?  Here’s an article: http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/IN022

Please do not throw away the following items, as we need them for camp:

  • Baby food or other small glass jars with lids
  • White cotton or linen rags (old shirts, old bed linens), especially those that are stained beyond repair
  • 100% cotton dryer lint (from towels, t-shirts, etc.)
  • Thread clippings from your sewing and embroidery projects
  • Rusty nails
  • Solid colored fabric scraps

I’ll be collecting these items until May 15th, to allow time for extra supplies to be purchased if we don’t have enough. Additionally, we always have a need for your unwanted all-occasion greeting cards (we also collect Christmas cards, but we have an overabundance currently).  Children use these to decorate the scrapbooks they make during our Victorian Girls Life program.

So if you’re local and have any of the above items to get rid of, call the Mo’ Butt House and make them an offer.

Posted in This Modern World | No Comments »

Revenant Issues

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

I’m having the sort of problem at work that requires an entirely new phrase to describe it, hence, “revenant issues” (or problems).

A revenant issue is one that you thought was settled, but returns again and again to plague you.

Or, as I described it to my boss, “I staked [problem] through the heart, so I thought it was dead, but apparently I forgot to cut off the head and fill the mouth with garlic.”

Posted in Fun with Words, What It's Like To Work in IT | No Comments »

My Feet Are Shrinking

Friday, April 10th, 2009

When I was in college, I could wear most size-five women’s shoes.

About ten or twelve years ago, I noticed that more and more size fives were loose on me. As in, I could get my entire foot, plus a finger or two into the shoe. So I switched over to girls’ size 3.

Not many girls these days need basic navy blue pumps to go with their suits, let me tell you.

Lately, though, I’ve noticed that the girls’ size threes are getting loose. See definition above.

Last weekend, when I went out shopping with one of my pals, the two pairs of shoes I found were size 2 and size 2.5 (in order  to make room for a gel insole; the size 2s only need a little moleskin).

This does not bode well for the next couple of decades. Not to mention the next time I need basic pumps to go with a suit.

Posted in Daze in the Life of... | 1 Comment »