Ravings of a Textual Deviant

“If a cat barfs in the woods, does anyone care?”

Me: You can’t beat sense into people; I’ve tried.

M: You can beat the stuffing out of them, though.

Me: That only makes room for sense.

“Things aren’t so much in a state of flux; it’s more like the Grand Duchy of Fluxembourg.”

“There’s detail-oriented, and then there’s sucking the upholstery off furniture.”

“If you’re eavesdropping, you don’t get to ask questions.” —T.R.

H: I’m sweet and innocent

Me: You’re bitter and unindicted.

“The only thing that separates us from the animals is the ability to add sequins to clothes we buy at Goodwill.” —Jeffery Reeves

“When you break rule number one*, you end up in number two.”—Ed.

*Don’t visualize.

“[X]’s sense of entitlement is bigger than Dick Cheney’s ass and Don Rumsfeld’s ego put together.”

I was teaching yoga at my private clients’ house yesterday, and found myself experiencing technical difficulties with the stereo system.

“Make it go, please?” I asked one of the residents.

“Wow, she really is a manager,” replied one of my students.