Archive for the ‘100 Words’ Category

Trust But Verify

Saturday, January 5th, 2013

(It’s been a while since I wrote a hundred-word story.  Here’s hoping that the next one comes along a little sooner.)

“I said I was sorry!”

“Great. You’re sorry. Meanwhile, I am starting to like the taste of flies. Figure out the problem and change me back, pronto. My skin is drying out.”

My lab partner hopped back into the sink full of cool water. Large, bulging eyes stared accsuingly.

“Is this one of your incantations or did you get it from a grimoire?”

“One of mine.”

“And you didn’t test it?”

“I ran it through the validator.”

“I ran it through the validator,” she repeated mockingly. “How many times have I told you not to rely on the spell checker?”

Neither Created nor Destroyed

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

I wish I had bothered to study the rules of physics. Or magic. Or, preferably, both.

I was minding my own business in the palace garden, when a frog hopped up to me and spoke.

I’m no genius, but like every princess, I thought I knew what that meant. So, yes, I kissed the frog, and yes, just as advertised, he turned into a handsome prince. Better yet, an unmarried, handsome prince. Everything a princess hopes for.

Correction: almost everything.

You can imagine my dismay at his lack of charm when I woke on a lily pad this morning.



Saturday, December 12th, 2009

The faerie knight blinked in the late October sunshine spilling through the door under the hill.

“Mr. Tam Lin?” asked the lovely young lady standing there.

He smiled winningly at the maiden. “I see my reputation has preceded me.”

She smiled back. “You might say that, sir.” She reached under her cloak and handed him a sheaf of papers fixed with an unfamiliar seal. “Tam Lin, you are hereby ordered to appear in court on a matter of paternity one week hence, November first. Have a happy Halloween, sir.”

He heard footsteps behind him.

“Who is this?” asked the Queen.

Equal Opportunity Enchantment

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

This one is for A., because I stole her line.

She remembered the stories, shrugged, and kissed.

There was a glittery blurring of the air around the frog, and when it cleared she beheld…a llama.

Crestfallen, the Baroness departed. The Countess rose and delicately kissed the llama, who promptly transformed into a stunning silver fox. The Margravine produced an osprey.

Even the Duchess could produce only a wolfhound, though no doubt the finest in the land.

“Not that don’t appreciate your help—” the dog began as the Prince entered the room. He immediately toddled up and planted a slobbery kiss.

“Much better,” sighed the Princess, after the glitter settled.

The Bad Witch

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

“I see you have used frog, where the instructions call for toad.”

“I was out of toad, Madame. I substituted.”

“The proper substitution is iguana, which you would know had you paid attention earlier in the year. Your rosemary—was it gathered at noon?”

“I don’t know, Madame.”

“How can you not know?”

“I, ah, that is…”

“You did not harvest it yourself.”

“I ordered it off the Internet.”

“You. Ordered spell components. Off the Internet.”

Madame’s face turned sour. “Miss Lutine, I suggest you reconsider your course schedule. I have never seen so many spelling errors in my life.”

Old Arguments Never Die

Saturday, October 3rd, 2009

“There’s no proof that using magic adversely affects…well, anything, on its own,” said Morgan.

“That doesn’t change the fact that there’s only so much thaumaturgic power,” Niniane retorted.

“There are still plenty of active ley lines. We don’t even know how many more there might be.”

“We can’t count on finding more! If there’s to be magic a hundred, five hundred, or a thousand years hence, we need to use it wisely now.”

“Merlin,” asked an exasperated Morgan, “You remember the future. What is the state of magic a thousand years hence?”

“Hard to say. But the argument sounds familiar.”

Ariadne, Off Naxos

Saturday, October 3rd, 2009

This story probably came about because we saw the Indianapolis Opera’s current production of Ariadne auf Naxos, and I started thinking about what a terrible bait-and-switch it would be to expect death and end up with the god of drunken revelry instead.

As the beach slipped over the horizon, she turned to face Him.

“I am ready. Take me to the Underworld.”

“Excuse me?” the young God slurred.

“The underworld, Lord Hermes. I have been done with this life since Theseus abandoned me.”

“You think I’m Hermes? By all My Uncles and Cousins, woman, why would you think I’m Hermes? Is the hold full of wine not a clue?”

“That does explain the smell,” the princess mused. “But if I’m not going to the Underworld, where can I go to forget Theseus?”

The God pondered blearily. “Have you ever been to Lesbos?”

Extinction Event

Friday, January 23rd, 2009

Author’s Note: I had to cheat a bit on the word count by using the acronyms, but what the hell.

The scorched remains of California’s last dragon oozed at our feet. Before we could heave a sigh of relief, the spotlights hit us.

“Freeze, murderers!”

The SPCS* freaks were running toward us, cameras blazing, screaming about keystone species.

Jason’s eyes were still rolling when the SPOOCs** came up over the hill behind us, nightsticks out and arrest warrants in hand.

They hated us pissing in their pool. Again.

We teleported the hell out of there as the groups crashed into each other like tectonic plates. Scylla and Charybdis have nothing on the ensuing riot.

Looked damned impressive on CNN, though.

*Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Supernaturals
**Special Police Occult & Oracular Corps

The Lesser of Two Evils

Monday, September 15th, 2008

Really, I was only trying to help.

I felt sorry for them; unable to defend themselves against the beasts of the forest and ignorant of the transcendent delight of art and beauty. I was between assignments, so I took a little working vacation. Figured I’d help out the mortal realm by teaching them a bit about minerals…smithwork, pigments, that kind of thing.

The whole taking the daughters of men as wives thing was totally unplanned. After all, there were giants in the earth in those days, and nobody objected to them having a little fun.

So much for my good intentions.

Collect the Whole Set

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008

Sir Benedek hurried toward the lair. The princess had only a few minutes before the dragon arrived.

Or so he thought. The dragon already clutched a limp Astrid. “Oh, a matched pair” it cooed, grasping him and squeezing until all went black.

When he awoke, Astrid lay next to him. She was unconscious, but breathing. They were on wooden surface, under a tapestry.

“Happy birthday, darling,” the dragon boomed, and the tapestry fell away. “Pets are a lot of responsibility, but I think you’re ready.”

Benedek fainted again. It was the last rest he got for a very long time.