Me: Here’s my first draft of the May presentation and notes. All feedback is welcome.
Reviewer: I found only one minor spelling mistake (see attached). You know I gotta find at least one.
Me: Goodness knows, I’m awful at finding my own spelling mistakes—I count on your orthographical vigilance.
Reviewer: Who you callin’ orthographical?
Me: Everyone’s a diacritic.
Fiancé is of the opinion that generally, I am the snarky one, where as he is snide.
“So, counselor,” I asked him, “what exactly is snark?”
His response was that, in the fashion of the Supreme Court, although he could not define snark, he knew it when he saw it.
That statement would be snarky, he added.
Whereas my response of “bravissimo” was merely snide.
It’s a lot like birdbrain, if you rearrange the letters.
Me (via email, on 9/28): The end of the month is nigh! Please remember to send me your metrics spreadsheets.
Writer: Oh no! It’s nigh! Because all of my items are NEW, my spreadsheet says NAY!
D: I had a “lost in translation” episode with my boyfriend who speaks only Spanish…I was trying to invite him to go with me to the fright festival at [venue]…but I didn’t know the Spanish word for Halloween. So, I thought if I could describe what goes on there he might just get it…
Me: Oh my…
D: So… in my battered Spanish…I invited him to go with me and the kids to the house for dead people to look at dead people and be scared…
D: Well as it turns out…I didn’t know the words for “haunted” or “ghost” either… so he thought I was inviting him to break into a mortuary. Anyway… in my frustration… I finally hit upon the word fiesta… for festival… and gave the date October 31…Suddenly he got this look on his face of total understanding… big light bulbs… and then doubled over in peals of laughter… finally he looked up at me and tapped my head and said very clearly… “en espanol…Halloweeeeen!”
I got an “I’m not worthy” from one of my writers today, after I correctly used “whom” in casual conversation.
Earlier today, I was writing an e-mail message and I needed a word or phrase that expressed the immense satisfaction one gets from seeing someone else deal with the consequences of their own supremely inappropriate behavior…something beyond schaudenfreude. I needed a phrase that included a connotation of joy derived from having solid proof that what goes around does indeed come around, and occasionally whacks one in the back of the head at high speed when it arrives.
I came up with “karmically delicious.”
Two phrases that aren’t euphemisms, but sound like them…
“The Italian sales force community”
“Handwashing my delicates”
As if we weren’t already confused…
So, as part of the electronic library file cleanup I’m doing, I have found all kinds of fun acronyms. We’ve got system names abbreviated to “BO,” “GRIM,” “MERLYN,” “OSS,” (why are all those files protected?) and “RESEX” and a document type that’s “DOA.”
We have to make our own fun around here.
Powered by FireStats