Ravings of a Textual Deviant

About three years ago, after much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, I declared that I wasn’t a yoga teacher. Yet.

It took almost exactly thirty days for that to change. Within a month, I was in my first teacher training. I finished up my certification as an RYT-200 in November of 2006.

The universe has now dropped another, similar, very large hint on me, and I like to think that I’m smart enough to take it before the universe decides that I am not paying enough attention, and draws back its boot.

I taught my first class of a new session last night, and in the class there was one student with fibromylagia, and one with CP. This morning, I got asked about yoga for rheumatoid arthritis…and then found out via email that a friend had just been told that she probably has fibromyalgia. No final diagnosis yet, but odds are good. I had been planning to do some research anyway, for my student, so…yeah, you know where that’s going.

It looks like I may well end up being a yoga therapist before the decade is out. I’m still looking into the certification process, and what schools are certified by Yoga Alliance (gotta get them Continuing Education Units). Conveniently enough, though, the school I’m already in is getting ready to roll out a couple of 4-day intensive yoga therapy trainings.

I believe those would also count towards the RYT-500, which is the next level up from the cert I already have.

I’m not ready for that yet. But I know better than to rule it out, either.

Looks like I will be teaching yoga to a class that’s open to the public, on Tuesday nights, through the local township school’s community education program.

Maybe I’ll see you there.

So, when I heard that Sarah Pallin was chosen as McCain’s running mate, I went out to Wikipedia and looked her up. I found the summary of her positions on various issues very helpful. I noticed that she is both pro-life and in favor of abstinence-only sex education in school. (Personally, I have always thought that this is a dangerous combination, for the obvious reason.)

Then I heard that her seventeen-year-old daughter was pregnant (see bad combination, above). And that her baby’s father had posted on his MySpace page that he wasn’t sure if he was ready to be a father.

I wonder if he’d bothered to read the Wikipedia article on his girlfriend’s mom?

***

I heard a clip from Ms. Pallin’s speech at the Republican convention in which she referred to herself as a hockey mom, and then joked that the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is…lipstick.

And I thought that putting clothes on dogs was a bad idea.

Sir Benedek hurried toward the lair. The princess had only a few minutes before the dragon arrived.

Or so he thought. The dragon already clutched a limp Astrid. “Oh, a matched pair” it cooed, grasping him and squeezing until all went black.

When he awoke, Astrid lay next to him. She was unconscious, but breathing. They were on wooden surface, under a tapestry.

“Happy birthday, darling,” the dragon boomed, and the tapestry fell away. “Pets are a lot of responsibility, but I think you’re ready.”

Benedek fainted again. It was the last rest he got for a very long time.

Adalricus sniffed dubiously at the latest candidate as he unhooked chains from the post and led her into the cave.
 
“You can start in here,” he said. “by getting rid of these cobwebs and sweeping up.”

“Excuse me?”

Enunciating carefully, he said “I need you to clean up in here. It’s a mess.”

“You want me to clean your lair? I’m a princess!”

“Why do they keep sending me princesses?” he asked, rolling his eyes. “All they do is argue. And none of them can cook.”

“But you told the King —”

“I said, ‘I want a maid in!’”

Generally, the medieval living-history group I occasionally hang with is comprised of intelligent, well-mannered folk. They love pomp under any circumstance, and greet everyone from an up-and-coming artisan to the King of the Midrealm himself with perfect period propriety. And a sharp wit is preferable to a blunt object.
 
There are, of course, exceptions.

Having disagreed with the Marshal’s declaration that he was dead and should Fall Down, rather than go for Best Dramatic Performance in a Field Battle, Mad Angus lifted his kilt à la Braveheart.

Later, in a drive-by knighting, the King declared Angus Chevalier de Pleine Lune.

Note: This story is completely fictional, and any resemblance to actual event, or to actual personas is strictly coincidental. I mean, honestly, I’d have to be an unmitigated moron to pi$$ off someone who calls himself “Mad Angus,” now wouldn’t I?

Squid Caesar

Rinse and dry romaine lettuce, then tear into smaller pieces. Add garlicky croutons, and shaved paremesan cheese. Top with fried calamari rings, and toss with Caesar dressing (I buy it bottled because Spouse has a Thing about eating raw eggs).

All ingredients can be handily purchased from Trader Joe’s, in mere minutes if you’re willing to use your elbows on fellow patrons. I like to mist the squid lightly with olive oil before it goes in the oven.

This week’s CSA basket had a good-sized portion of green beans. I’m not terribly fond of green beans, but I knew that a few days in the fridge would not improve them. It’s possible that the reason I don’t like green beans all that much is that most of my experience is with the frozen kind at home, and cafeteria-style green beans with almonds elsewhere.

This recipe, like so many others, started with sauteeing some diced onions. I used half a good-sized red onion (you could probably use a couple of shallots instead, if you have them on hand), and a half-and-half mix of butter and olive oil. I recommend medium low heat, as you’ll next add a turnip or two, cut into approximately 2″ chunks. The turnip will take a while to cook and caramelize, but be patient; it is worth the wait. More caramelization is better, in my opinion.

Top, tail, and string your beans (if using fresh) or not (if using frozen). I like to cut the beans into bite-sized pieces so that they cook faster, but suit yourself. Steam the beans just enough to cook them through, leaving them slightly crisp. They should be an amazingly beautiful bright green color. When the turnips are nearly done, add the drained beans into your turnips and onions. Add in some parsley and ground black pepper, and stir the lot for another few minutes. You’ll want to add some salt at the table, particularly if you have used fresh beans, but I prefer to leave that up to the individual diner.

I ate two servings of it, and not just because I really like turnips.

We had this as a side dish with corn on the cob and lightly-breaded baked cod. I steamed the beans over the same pot of water that had the corn boiling in it, to save getting another pot dirty, which worked out quite well.

Last night, I taught yoga at 5:15, then went on to rehearsal for From Dark Pages, so I needed something that could be ready when I got home.

I started some jasmine rice, which is my favorite kind, on the stove. I spent the next twenty minutes rounding up vegetables—fuschia eggplant and mushrooms from the CSA box; green garbanzos from the freezer; cauliflower and shredded carrots from the vegetable bin. In a rare moment of forethought, also had a boneless, skinless chicken breast that I’d gotten out to thaw earlier in the day. That got cubed in short order, along with the eggplant. The whole lot of it went into the crock-pot, with a jar of Korma sauce from Trader Joe’s. I turned off the heat under the rice, turned the crock on, and came home to a complete meal.

And I have enough left over for lunch.

This is not the Top Secret Family Cabbage Recipe that I acquired from my ex-coworker, but it does feature a similarly heavy dose of starch, and is likewise really not kosher or vegetarian.

The base of this dish is mashed potatoes. I prefer to make mashed potatoes by boiling cubed red potatoes in salted water until they’re soft, then adding in butter and either milk or fat-free Greek yogurt as part of the actual mashing process. If you’re feeling ambitious, you could also add in chives, or tarragon, or whatever herbs you prefer. Bear in mind that the potatoes are the base, however, not the main attraction.

Next, I diced an onion and sliced up the cabbage (I had one small head each of purple and green cabbage, which was a very nice touch, I thought.) If I’d had a leek to hand, it would’ve gone in as well. Over medium heat, I sauteed the onion in olive oil until it was just starting to brown, and then added in the shredded cabbage. Don’t worry if you think you’ve got way too much cabbage when start; it cooks down a lot. I kept the additional flavorings pretty light, only adding black pepper and caraway, and deglazing the pan with water when the fond started to develop.

To finish it off, I put some sliced Canadian bacon on top of the cabbage, and let it warm up. Had I been paying more attention, I would have cut it up a bit more and started it with the onions…but I was distracted, and I’m please to have remembered it at all. You could probably easily substitute ham, or sausage, or any other pork or faux-pork product you prefer (turkey-based, tofu based, etc.) here as well, so long as it is fully cooked by the time you’re done.

To serve, first put down a layer of mashed potatoes. Add the cabbage and Canadian bacon right on top of the potatoes. Sprinkle some shredded cheddar cheese over the top, stir the lot of it together, and devour.